Disillusionment. It’s a heavy word, carrying the weight of unfulfilled expectations, broken promises, and the slow erosion of trust. In both schools and the workplace, it often begins small, a passing moment or observation. But left unchecked, it grows into something far more destructive: disengagement, disgruntlement, and even mental health challenges.
In my work, I’ve seen disillusionment take root time and time again. It often starts when someone witnesses poor behaviour being tolerated—or worse, rewarded. Whether it’s in a classroom, a workplace, or a boardroom, the damage is the same. But recently, this issue hit much closer to home.
A Personal Story: When Disillusionment Hits Home
At my daughter’s Year 12 graduation, I experienced firsthand the sting of disillusionment. As I watched the ceremony unfold, there were the high achievers being recognised, but I also witnessed students who had displayed poor attitudes throughout the school year—those who bullied, intimidated, disrupted, and vandalized—walk across the stage to receive awards. Meanwhile, students who had worked hard, shown respect, and remained diligent, despite navigating what felt like a battlefield, were overlooked.
One of those disillusioned students was my daughter.
She had faced daily challenges in what was often a disruptive and even hostile environment, striving to do the right thing, only to feel that her efforts were disregarded. The message was clear: Poor behaviour didn’t just go unchecked or poorly managed; it was rewarded. The seeds of disillusionment took hold in that moment. And while I could offer perspective and support as her mother, the damage was done.
The Parallel in the Workplace
Unfortunately, this isn’t just an issue confined to schools. In the workplace, I see the same pattern repeated. Disillusionment takes root when employees observe colleagues engaging in poor behaviour—bullying, disrespect, unethical practices—and not only getting away with it, but being celebrated for their performance.
In my line of work, I’ve come to understand this dynamic deeply. I know the risks associated with tolerating poor behaviour, especially when it’s excused in the name of results. We often see examples of high-performing individuals leaving a trail of damage behind them—eroding morale, culture, and relationships. When these individuals are recognised with awards, promotions, or other forms of merit, the message is loud and clear: Integrity doesn’t matter here.
What many leaders fail to see is the broader impact. When results are prioritised over respect, it’s not just disengagement that follows. Mental health suffers. Trust erodes. People begin to question the very values the organisation claims to stand for. And disillusionment spreads like a slow-growing cancer, infecting workplace culture and taking a heavy toll on those who feel unseen and unvalued.
The Root Cause: Acceptance of Poor Behaviour
Disillusionment often begins with a single moment, an employee observing a colleague’s poor behaviour being tolerated or rewarded. It’s a small but powerful trigger. Over time, as more examples pile up, that disillusionment deepens. What begins as frustration turns into cynicism, and before long, the disillusioned employee is disengaged, mentally checked out, or worse—spreading that negativity to others.
In schools, when poor behaviour is rewarded in the hope of “encouraging improvement,” but often, all we end up doing is solidifying the acceptance of that behaviour. The same holds true in businesses. We tolerate bullies, disruptors, and unethical performers, and the message becomes clear: Results matter more than how those results are achieved.
But at what cost? This system not only perpetuates disillusionment but also creates a cycle of toxicity that harms the organisation’s long-term success. When employees who consistently demonstrate professionalism, respect, and integrity see their values being ignored, they start to disengage. And the risks of doing so are profound—not just for performance but also for their mental well-being.
The Consequences: Disillusionment’s Toll on Mental Health, Engagement, and Potential
Every time an employee or student witnesses another example of poor behaviour being tolerated or rewarded; it adds fuel to the fire. Their sense of worth and belonging erodes, and the internal conflict grows. This stress can manifest in different ways. For some, it’s internalised—leading to anxiety, depression, or self-doubt. For others, it’s expressed outwardly—through anger, frustration, or even becoming the very disruptors they once despised.
The mental health toll is real, and it’s high. Disillusionment doesn’t just affect engagement; it affects well-being, which in turn impacts performance, relationships, and the overall culture of a workplace or school.
But disillusionment steals something else—the potential for people to contribute at their highest level. When disillusionment sets in, people stop striving toward their full potential. Instead of contributing in meaningful ways and pushing boundaries, they begin to play a smaller game. They go through the motions, navigating the workplace battlefield just to survive, rather than thrive. The drive to innovate, lead, or collaborate diminishes as they lose faith in the system. This not only holds individuals back but also robs the organisation of the immense value they could offer if they were truly engaged and empowered.
The Call for Change
This system needs to change. In both schools and businesses, we must stop tolerating and rewarding poor behaviour in the name of results. Leaders—whether in classrooms, workplaces, or boardrooms—must recognise that how results are achieved matters just as much, if not more, than the results themselves.
We must also be mindful of the precedent we set by rewarding those who demonstrate poor behaviour.
Disillusionment doesn’t take hold because people envy awards; it takes hold because they see poor behaviour being tolerated or rewarded.
Those who strive to do the right thing, day in and day out, are left questioning the values of the organisation. It’s not about recognition; it’s about fairness and integrity.
We need to pay attention to those who feel invisible—those who have great value to bring to the table but shrink back because of how they are made to feel. These individuals go unnoticed, overshadowed by the focus on top performers or disruptive behaviour. Their potential is stifled, not because they lack ability, but because the environment makes them feel like their efforts don’t matter.
Shifting Mindsets, Shaping Futures
Change must happen—and it can. The seeds of disillusionment are sown when systems tolerate poor behaviour and focus solely on top performers or disruptive individuals. But there are steps we can take to shift this dynamic. With risk, there is always opportunity.
First, recognising and rewarding integrity, respect, and effort, alongside results. Disillusionment thrives when fairness is lost, and we must restore that balance. Second, be mindful of the people who quietly do the right thing every day, often in the face of adversity. These individuals are the bedrock of a healthy culture, and we must make sure they are seen and valued.
By addressing the root causes of disillusionment, we can foster environments where people feel seen, heard, and empowered to reach their full potential. The question is, are we ready to make that change? And if so, what small, meaningful steps can you start taking today?
If this resonates with you, and you’re facing these challenges in your workplace or organisation, you’re not alone. I invite you to reach out. Together, we can uncover the steps needed to restore fairness, engagement, and trust—whether in your school, business, or team. And if you’re ready to be part of a movement that’s changing how we value people, join a community of like-minded leaders committed to making a difference. Let’s start building the culture your people deserve and create environments where potential can truly thrive.
