When Care Isn’t Enough
It’s easy to miss.
In an executive meeting, it sounds like:
“Why don’t they just get onboard and get the job done.”
Or within a team:
“Leadership made the call—we just have to deal with it.”
It slips into email threads, offhand comments, project post-mortems.
And on the surface, it sounds harmless.
But underneath?
That quiet division between “them” and “us” is doing more damage than most leaders realise.
It’s become a subtle mindset—one even the most well-intentioned professionals can carry without noticing.
You don’t need a toxic culture to be at risk.
All it takes is separation. Silence. A little tension… left unspoken.
And suddenly, you’re not on the same team—
You’re just in the same building, or working for the same organisation.
The Hidden Divide That’s Closer Than You Think
Maybe you’ve felt it too.
You’re doing everything you can to lead well.
You carry the weight of decisions, performance, culture, and people.
You want things to work—for the team, the business, and those who depend on it.
And when things go off course—when expectations aren’t met, when pressure rises—you step in.
You lean in harder.
You work longer.
You take on more.
Not because you want control.
But because you care deeply about the outcome.
You want things done well. Done right. Delivered in the right way.
But here’s a question worth gently exploring:
Could the pressure you’re under—the responsibility, the expectations, the accountability—be quietly shaping how you see others?
Maybe you’ve thought:
- “Why does this always fall on me?”
- “If I don’t stay on top of this, we’re going to fall behind.”
- “I wish others showed the same level of ownership.”
And just like that, something subtle shifts.
The load starts to feel heavier.
The separation grows stronger.
It’s no longer “we.”
It becomes “me” holding it together… and “them” who don’t seem to see what you see.
Not because you’re cynical—
But because you’re committed.
And tired.
And doing what you believe is necessary to deliver.
This is how the divide often begins.
Not with bad intentions, but with over-responsibility—
The belief that control is the only way to ensure success.
Control: The Pick-Axe We Don’t Realise We’re Swinging
Control feels responsible.
It promises clarity. Consistency. Reduced risk—at least in theory.
But it also narrows the field.
You stop asking.
You start telling.
You decide for others—not with them.
And when people feel excluded from the how, or disconnected from the why,
they slowly detach from the what.
They go quiet.
They start stepping back and doing the minimum.
They stop raising issues.
And that’s when the real cracks form—
Maybe not in the systems, but in relationships.
What began as care becomes like a pick-axe.
At first, it chips away at your mindset.
Then it begins chipping away at trust.
At connection.
At engagement.
And every time something goes wrong—or even seems off course—
the pick-axe strikes again.
Until the divide isn’t theoretical anymore.
It’s lived.
Felt.
There are cracks… a gap that could feel like a canyon.
And in some cases, these gaps are weaponised.
What Happens When the Divide Hardens
Here’s the pattern we see too often:
Leaders double down on control to protect outcomes
Teams step back, no longer part of the “us”
Engagement drops
Conversations shrink
Workarounds appear, often increasing risks
Compliance slips through the cracks
And the deeper risk?
When people feel like passengers—or worse, outsiders—they stop investing in the journey.
They do enough to stay afloat.
But the spark is gone. The care is diluted. And the resilience begins to fade.
Yes, targets might still be met—
But momentum is lost.
And the culture? Quietly eroding.
So, Why Does This Really Happen?
Because everyone is looking through a different lens. The own interpretation of what is happening based on their own life experiences, and also through the role lens.
Some are staring down risk, performance, and strategic priorities.
Others are navigating operational chaos, unspoken pressure, broken systems—or quiet disillusionment.
Some are caught in between, trying to translate both sides… often without backup.
And it’s only human to see the world through the weight you carry.
But this is where the real opportunity lives.
Because when you understand how that weight can unintentionally create distance—
You also open the door to restore connection.
And that’s where transformation begins.
From Control to Commitment: Bridging the Gap
Real leadership isn’t about holding it all.
It’s about creating the conditions where shared ownership thrives—
Not through slogans or motivational speeches, but through truth, clarity, and alignment.
When people understand:
- What we’re working toward
- Why it matters
- And how they shape the journey…
They don’t just follow.
They lean in. They contribute. They protect the house with you.
That’s when alignment happens—not by force, but by design.
That’s when risk becomes something we manage together.
That’s when culture becomes your greatest safeguard—not your greatest stressor.
But here’s the risk many overlook:
If what’s said and what’s done doesn’t align, people notice.
Quickly.
And when leadership talks about values, vision, and purpose—
but decisions tell a different story—
it doesn’t just cause confusion.
It can create disillusionment and fractures trust.
That’s not a pick-axe chipping at connection—
it’s a stick of dynamite dropped into the middle of it.
Because when alignment becomes a pitch instead of a practice,
people stop believing.
They start protecting themselves.
And the divide becomes far harder to repair.
Your Invitation to Shift the Story
If you’ve noticed even a whisper of “them and us” thinking—
in your teams, your meetings, or your own internal dialogue—
don’t ignore it.
And don’t judge it.
Just get curious.
Because the earlier you spot it, the easier it is to shift.
And what’s waiting on the other side isn’t blame—it’s clarity, alignment, and trust.
👉 If you’re ready to bridge the divide, the Risk Rebel Leadership Pathway is designed for leaders just like you—leaders carrying the weight, caring deeply, and looking for a better way forward.
Through the Risk Rebel Leadership Pathway, we help you:
- Uncover the hidden drivers behind misalignment
- Reconnect with your people and purpose
- And create a culture of ownership, resilience, and real momentum
Because in the end, there is no “them.”
There’s only us—if we’re willing to lead like it.
“It is only by focusing on risk with and through your people, that you are going to truly solve your organisational risk exposure and drive transformational change.” – Lisa Sisson
Risk Rebels—What Say You?
